being human

Derech Eretz

Derech eretz is, in its broadest sense, acting with consideration and kindness to one’s fellow human beings, and in so doing, fulfilling the will of God. It is something observed in Orthodox Judaism and of course comes with varying interpretations.

A friend of mine recently wrote to me and spoke of dharma, friendship and derech….and reflected on their inherent presence in every footstep. And we both seemed to agree that although each of these may be ‘inherent’, awareness and attention are also needed in the recipe.
And then I happened upon reader reviews of a book about a person striving for ‘derech eretz’ in every day life and journaling about it for 1 year.
And so I ponder………

What is it to be ‘good’?  ( And for me the word ‘good’ has been the victim of unfortunate manipulation and laden with subjective perspective and judgement. For this reason I tend to not engage it and feel weary when people speak of ‘doing good’.)And when we ask how it is that each of us can go about treating others with respect, consideration and compassion…….what do these things mean to each of us? These are questions that cannot be answered by the Bible or any scriptures. The answers lie within each of us and in symphony with one another.

Would you only act with respect and compassion towards others if it is the will of ‘God’ ? Why wouldn’t you engage these qualities simply because they exist and you exist?

Perhaps the golden rule of ‘do unto others as one would wish be done unto oneself’ is a great guide or springboard. (In the Talmud it is written: “What is hateful to you do not do to your neighbor.) But is it not possible that with so much conditioning towards shades of abuse and self deprecation that even this has lost its ability to guide us intuitively?

And when we are able to navigate our awareness and authentic expression of compassion and kindness with self and other……how do we maintain keen clarity of motivations and the tempting concepts of ‘success and failure’ (ie: moral one-upmanship or evidence to feel poorly about oneself)?
How do we engage and enact these qualities (soul level qualities) even with our differences and incredible diversity? How do we meet as humans?

I personally feel we need to put all of our rich experiences and feelings of ‘God’ aside and ask ourselves in our own hearts what is kindness and compassion….what is ‘good-ness’? What is the world we want to dwell in?
If I take time to look at my own self and ask what gets in my way of being considerate, compassionate and respectful, both equally of others and myself, then perhaps I can find how engaging these exact qualities might guide me back to them.

Is it truly so difficult for each of us to reflect upon our own behaviors and conditioning so that we might unwind our tendency away from compassion and kindness?
I know the answers to these questions are not so simple as it is not simple to be human. It is quite intricate and mysterious at times.

Self reflection is an amazing gift and when done without a whiff of judgement or imbalance it can give in the most amazing and unexpected ways. (The emphasis here being on ‘done without a whiff of judgement or imbalance’ otherwise it becomes only a facade without true dimension )
Perhaps ask yourself to reflect throughout your day on your canopy of continuous emotions & thoughts and just be witness and NOT judge. See what you can learn about the different aspects of yourself and even ask yourself what these parts of you might need to come more and more into balance. More and more into synchronicity with compassion, kindness and equanimity.
Let go of judging others or writing stories about their motivation or intentions. We truly never need to diminish ourselves or others…..never. I find this to be a reaction that serves nothing but to feed a process that doesn’t support our being fully enlivened individuals. So why do it?
Well, probably because it is what we learned as children and what was modeled by generation upon generation. But we do get to shift it. We get to develop a new way of existing in our thoughts, feelings and actions.
All it takes is personal self reflection.  Breath.  This awareness is where compassion and kindness can grow if you simply plant the seeds.
And then, perhaps, these qualities come naturally and without effort.  Kindness and compassion are not separate from you….but inherent in every footstep and breath you take.

being human

Our competitive nature (part 1)

competitive
1 having or displaying a strong desire to be more successful than others
2 as good as or better than others of a comparable nature

compete
1 strive to gain or win something by defeating or establishing superiority over others who are trying to do the same

I was in a yoga class today and the teacher reminded everyone to only go as deep in the pose as worked for our own body and not based on what others were doing…..to be ‘where we are’ with our own practice. This is a simple reminder and in many ways an obvious one…..but one we often bypass. I thought about the posture I was in and how even in small ways I am striving towards a ‘goal’. Pausing, I asked myself where that goal had come from……meaning was it from my own lived experience/ barometer or from an outside concept served up through comparison.

This all starts to get a little curious because the lines of ‘me’ and the lines of everything else are blurry at times. And in many ways that makes sense because we are in a constant relationship of reciprocal influence. As a society we have a continuous flow of shared ideas, styles, standards and beliefs. We are truly affected by everything that we ‘take in’ on conscious and unconscious levels and have been since our inception.
So, even something as benign as a yoga pose and how I relate to it is affected by so many external concepts of ‘good’ and ‘success’. (I know I have written before about the nature of thought, judgement and the relative nature of success…… and considering the prevalence of these things in our world and how they shape us, I will most likely continue to explore them.)

I often contemplate how I would relate to myself and the world if I was on a deserted island (extreme exercise but helps to show contrast). An island where the influences are radically different. If all I had to go on was my own personal experience, acquired knowledge and intuition. Where would ‘judgement’ be? What would ‘success’ look like? Time and time again my honest answer is it would be a much more gentle and much less critical way of living and ‘being’. A way that is much more based on the inner sensation than an outer comparison.
Now, I am a supporter of growth and striving that comes with moving towards a goal. What a beautiful thing we as humans can envision and ‘achieve’. But it seems with that comes the shadow side of our competitive nature with ourselves and others. And along with that comes the inevitable judgements and fueled sense of opposition.
How can we on a daily basis be curious about our own conditioned patterns of comparison, judgement, criticism and concepts of success? Whether it is in a yoga class, cooking a meal for someone, in our ‘art’ work, in our relationships or even how we spend our ‘free’ time….how do we take responsibility for ourselves? I think it asks us to develop our sense of personal awareness and notice the moments these thoughts or beliefs are influencing our actions and how we feel about ourselves and others. And in those moments of awareness we can pause and perhaps choose something that is less based on competition and more on what truly serves us.

It is absolutely possible to unwind the conditioning. Like anything it takes practice. And once you begin to unwind it you start to see how much of a ‘hold’ it has had on you and how much energy it takes from each of us. Why not try something different from the way we have learned and that which seems to create so much feeling of ‘less than’ or lacking…..so much competition that doesn’t serve us.
Check out part 2 for a simple exercise.
Thanks for reading……

being human

simple exercise (part 2)

Here is a simple ‘meditation’ exercise that might help with the practice of
~awareness
~pause
~choice

-Set aside 5 minutes.
-Sit somewhere you are comfortable and without too many external distractions.
-Set a timer if you can so you aren’t thinking about how much time has gone by.
-Now just sit.

Set an intention to let go and not get attached to any thoughts that come to mind.
Thoughts will come for sure…..(it isn’t a competition to have the least amount of thoughts as possible.) The practice here is to stay committed to letting go of the thoughts that will likely come to you. To notice them as soon as you can and in that moment ‘let them go’. For that entire 5 minutes all you do is notice when you start thinking about something and when you do…..try to ’empty’ out. No matter how important the thought might seem or how entertaining it may be…..walk away from it.
A good technique is to let your breath fill your focus. Each inhale and exhale you bring your concentration fully to this simple act. After using the breath for some time, if you feel a sense of stillness, see if you can let go of following the breath and simply ‘be’ quiet. When a thought comes (as it will), perhaps return to the breath or let go of the thought and return to stillness.

See if you can have a soft and gentle heart/mind with this practice. No judgement about the fact that you aren’t ‘doing’ or ‘achieving’. No criticism on the amount of thoughts you have or awkward mental discomfort that may arise. No praise for doing it ‘right’ since you actually can’t do it wrong or right.

Here is a great visualization a teacher shared with me that helped me develop my practice.
Imagine that you are sitting underwater at the bottom of a peaceful river. Up above there are boats traveling down the river. These boats represent our thoughts…..a constant stream. Sometimes I find that I have risen up and jumped on a boat/thought and am half way down the river. Instead of getting mad or judgemental, I simply notice I have gotten attached to a thought and floated away on it. Then I choose to get off the boat/thought and I slip over the side and back into the quiet waters. The process of floating down down down helps me drop back into myself…..down down down. And then I come to resting again quietly below. There are times I would already be on another boat before I even reached the bottom. I would lovingly choose to get off once again starting the process of slipping over board into the quiet waters and sinking below.
You can play with this metaphor and any other metaphor that might work for you. As with any practice it is about what works for you and not about doing what everyone else is doing. Use any exercise as a springboard into yourself and your own needs.
Remember meditation can be enjoyable and fun. It doesn’t need to feel austere or punishing.
Just see what you find and how you discover it for yourself.

evolving' truths'

Newborn

I recently spent substantial time with 6 month old twins (the children of dear friends). Being with them in abundance and so closely I was reminded so profoundly of the wide eyed wonder we are at that age. I was able to see these eyes and minds shaping to every little stimulus of touch, visual, sound and intention. Yes….intention. By this I mean the energy behind the actions. Everything is picked up by them…..and there really is no room for what we call subtlety. It all has an affect.

And I think we too often forget the profound affects we have on one another and ourselves in these more subtle realms. We have come to integrate so many underlying themes of degrading language and content as ‘acceptable’. Or we allow our unattended ‘parts’ to drive the car and kick mud up along our paths. We think ‘oh, it’s just a little mud’. We don’t even notice anymore the impact these have on our growing young and then continually on us as adults.

Is it the end of the world?
No
Will we live through it?
Most of us

And so we don’t seem to bother taking a closer look at the nature of our conditioned thoughts and how that leaks into our language and actions in these subtle ways. We simply accept that criticism, judgement and constant evaluation of ‘success’ and ‘better than’ is the path of being human. But I still ask ‘why not’?

Why not try something different……or is it we believe that the experience of suffering and struggle simply is part of being human?

I don’t know……but I am curious.

evolving' truths'

it’s not about cloud floating

Even in a space of loving myself every moment of the day…….I still have personality.  (My humanity is part of my divinity.)  I am not trying to get rid of my personality, opinions and quirks……I am simply trying to shift the ways in which I have learned to be judgemental of them.  I am understanding how to respect and appreciate them even while noticing the time has come for some to grow.

Unconditioned love grants space to let go of ‘judgement’ of self and other…..you can have opinions and walk in the world as human,  yet let go of our need to elevate or minimize ourselves or others.  To let go of a need to be right or wrong.  It is a balanced space of simply ‘being’ and noticing all the feelings and thoughts along the way.

During the course of the day I try to notice where things get sticky for me and where I feel attached. I try to feel when the waves inside me are calm and when they are turbulent. I cannot always shift these feelings in the moment but simply noticing them and being curious, I come to learn so much about habits and conditioned patterns that aren’t always helpful or healthy. It is not always comfortable because I don’t often let myself get too distracted from what I am feeling. (I always seem to be there observing in some way.) Some days I have more energy and other days it is all I can do to breathe. But all along the way I don’t ever slip back into anything less than love and kindness for myself….even when I am frustrated and confused. Eventually if I follow the thread, it untangles.

And it is this base I have (re)built of unconditioned Love that supports all of this.

It starts with a little practice and it grows from there.
It’s never as far away as you think.

evolving' truths'

parts work (part 1)

I thought I would talk about one of the main ways I function in life since sometimes it sounds confusing to people when I talk about my ‘parts’.  For me, the term ‘part’ makes perfect sense but I realize it might be a stretch for others out of context. So, here goes……

Many years ago I began to notice there were times when I felt completely at ease and without constriction and other times where I felt the opposite of that. I decided to see what I could notice in these shifting moments and the shades in between. It was within this exploration that I noticed threads of different aspects of myself. It’s all ‘me’ but I chose to recognize different emotions and thoughts as distinct aspects or parts (of me). This came from a time where the ‘volume’ or quantity of emotions and thoughts was too much when it would happen all at once. So, I learned if I could see distinction in the feelings then they were easily addressed and didn’t overwhelm me.
The cool byproduct of this approach was that I began to develop a deeper sense of relationship with myself and I have learned more about my ‘inner workings’ than I could have imagined.

Okay, let me try to describe the process more and move from the realm of vagueness.
In the beginning, I would aim to notice times when I went from feeling good to feeling less than good. As soon as I noticed this shift I would try to also notice all the qualities of my environment inside and out…..just notice them. There would tend to be a thought pattern/soundtrack/voice that had a conditioned response to some form of stimulus. For example, it might be I would read an article about someone achieving a grand ‘success’ in the newspaper and a litany of thoughts/voices would begin that were not loving but harshly critical of me. In that moment, I would address this unhelpful commentary direct and personally. This was a key tool in the process. If I simply noticed and made general statements to contradict it or just observed and reminded myself there was other ways outside this conditioned pattern…..it stayed sorta vague and distant for me.
But…..
when I addressed these thoughts direct and personally the game changed.

Imagine the difference between trying to have a relationship with an amorphous mass and a distinct entity. (For me, knowing myself is very much a form of intimate ‘relationship’.)
The process of how it went from amorphous to personal came when I simply asked questions. I spoke directly to the thoughts and feelings without expectation or concept of reply. In the instance of self deprecating thoughts……I would simply ask them what they need. That is where I started my relationship of getting to know them. I would continue to inquire until I heard something….anything from them. From there it would evolve and grow. The questions would shift and sometimes it took longer than others or there would be unexpected answers. There were also times I would simply wait and let them know I would be there to listen when they were ready to talk to me. I wouldn’t force anything or get frustrated with them.

 

evolving' truths'

parts work (part 2)

As you may notice, there is a ‘part’ of me speaking directly to other ‘parts’ of me. It was important that the part asking the questions wasn’t simply another part or thought pattern based in feeling bad about myself or limited in any way. The aspect of me that does the ‘noticing’ and asking questions is what I call my wise woman. Someone recently asked me to say more about that. My ‘wise woman’ is this place of expansive and unconditioned love/kindness. It is without judgement or attachment to opinions. It simply shows up with these wide open arms and says “I am here to listen and hold space for you’. (This quality is clearly the ‘medicine’ that works for me and I imagine each persons ‘wise part’ would offer what that individual uniquely needed……but I would dare suppose that unconditioned love is something that is healing for all persons…not just me)
So this expansive presence simultaneously exists along with the self deprecating, scared and small feeling parts.
The moment I can notice when the ‘lesser than’ parts are ‘in the house’ so to speak and affecting things……I need to pause. The pause is critical in this work because it helps me differentiate these ‘limited’ parts from my more expansive wise presence. When I can notice this and realize it is not all the same amorphous mass, I can then begin the direct conversation. From here I can learn and shape my relationships with these thought patterns or conditioned parts.
The more I have gotten to know these parts, the more they ‘heal’ and then simply integrate within the overall system of ‘me’. There is no intention to ‘get rid’ of some part of me. I find that when I give them attention, listen and don’t simply ignore them…..they stop ‘acting out’ the way they once did.
I love using the analogy of driving the car. I might ask myself ‘who’s driving the car’. Ideally it works best when my wise woman is driving (in ‘control’) but there are times some other part gets behind the wheel. (When I notice a disgruntled or insecure part has gotten in the drivers seat ……it is usually my wise woman noticing the shift.) She can then simply ride shotgun as opposed to demanding the car back. She can cruise around with them and simply make small talk, turn on the radio, comment on scenery etc. At some point she might say something like “I enjoy driving so if you get tired let me know”. Eventually trust is established and the part driving willingly hands over the keys. In the end, the wise part doesn’t kick this challenged part out of the car, she asks the part to go for a drive with her. They have a relationship rooted in trust and caring so it is far less adversarial.
All in all, this process is one of curiosity and creativity. I am always improvising…..no book or person could have fully prepared me for the scenarios I have encountered. I have had to be willing to step out of pre-conceived methods and ideas. It is like raising children…..where they are always surprising you. So I open myself to the mystery and stay on my toes with love and kindness.
Okay, if I was to break it down into steps……
1. Notice when you shift from ‘wise expansive’ part into parts having ‘limiting’ thoughts or emotions.
2. Pause or interrupt it from continuing as usual.
3. Choose to differentiate by speaking directly to the thought or emotion.
4. Be curious, kind and respectful when speaking to this part of yourself.
5. Ask it questions to establish trust and get to know more about it.
6. Let your intention be to develop a relationship which brings natural integration as opposed to ‘getting rid of it’.

Try these steps with thoughts or parts that are not too intense for you. This will help you experiment and explore. You will truly map your own path in this unique expression called ‘you’. And don’t forget to trust your intuition in the process……it is a great guide.

Enjoy the blessing and the challenge.
Thanks for reading…….Jacqueline

evolving' truths'

poem

Tell them I’m struggling to sing with angels
who hint at it in black words printed on old paper gold-edged by
time
Tell them I wrestle the mirror every morning
Tell them I sit here invisible in space
Nose running, coffee cold and bitter
Tell them I tell them everything
& everything is never enough
Tell them I’m another cross-wired babbling being
songs coming out all ends to meet & flash above the disc above my
brain
Tell them I’m a dreamer, new-born shaman
sitting cross legged in trance-stupor
turning into the magic feather contemplated
Tell them there are moments when clay peels off my bones
& feeds a river passing faces downstream
Tell them I’m davening & voices rise up from within to startle
children
Tell them I walk off into the woods to sing
Tell them I sing loudest next to waterfalls
Tell them the books get fewer, words go deeper
some take months to get thru
Tell them there are moments when it’s all perfect
above & below, it’s perfect
even moments in between where sparks in space
(terrible,beautiful sparks in space)
are merely metaphors for the void between
one pore & another

-David Meltzer

evolving' truths'

Jimi Hendrix

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”

What does power mean to you?  Are there different types of power? Do you think there is a difference between ‘power over’ and ’empowerment’? How does power play out in the most subtle ways in your day to day exchanges? Or on a larger scale around you?

‘Peace’…….
And then I guess one might ask…….do you want ‘peace’?……..and what does that mean both inside of you and in the world around you?
It is a word and concept that has been tossed around so prolifically that I wonder if we truly even understand what it means to experience it.
How does it feel when you begin ‘peace’ within yourself?

Dictionary definition:
~Power |ˈpou(-ə)r
noun
1 the ability to do something or act in a particular way, esp. as a faculty or quality :the power of speech | [with infinitive ] the power to raise the dead | ( powers) his powers of concentration.

2 the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events.

evolving' truths'

power of perception

If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. ~ William Blake

I am curious about perceptions and how they serve (and do not serve) each of us individually and collectively.
So, I must dive into what we know about the development and function of perception as well as my own lived experience with it.  (there is a time to learn from external research and a time to learn experientially)
It seems that most of the ways we interact with the world and ourselves is affected, based upon or influenced by our perceptions.  For the most part, the relationships we have with other people, events, ourselves and our environment begins with a concept.  These general notions of our ‘world’ and all within it then become facts of awareness in our mind/consciousness.  This mental state/consciousness is also called perception or rapid cognition.  This ‘quick thinking’ is a function of the brain that skips over any analytical thought process and jumps to immediate retrieval of stored information.  It isn’t necessary to do any actual thinking because you or someone else has done the ‘thinking’ in advance to have the information ready to apply in an instant.  All you need to do is jump to that ‘file’ so to speak.
Perception is a process by which we interpret and  make meaningful sense of the world based upon an abundance of stored information and memory.  Currently there is still much debate over how much of this information is innate and how much is learned.  Both science and philosophy continue to delve into the nature of perception and what informs and affects it.
It seems that this stored information is in essence how we define things and it is our definitions that create our perceptions and it is our perceptions that direct our behaviors and personality.  Depending on the nature of the definitions it can lead to a wide array of perceptions that both bring us closer together as human beings and also can create huge divisions.  Perceptions based on limited definitions (where one must seemingly suppress the conscience) can lead to many forms of  -ism: racism, sexism, classism, and the fueling of various forms of oppression, prejudice and exploitation.
Perceptions/rapid cognition can be helpful when we don’t have a lot of time……but our tendency to fall back on our perceptions/rapid cognition when there is abundant time for consideration can perpetuate limiting conditions and divisive patterns of perception.  It seems that perceptions, once formed, create a ‘resident’ tendency for quick and automatic response to people, ourselves, places and events.  This leads to non-deliberate decision making and can often lead to unconscious prejudices.  We would need to discern between:
situations where quick, unquestioned thinking is necessary
and
situations where we don’t need to engage the ‘quick thinking’ pre-assigned perceptions and can actually deliberate and question.
We see too often throughout history how acts of violence and atrocities carried out by humans stem to a large degree from the definitions these people hold.  Then, when we look more closely we see similar issues played out on smaller scales day to day in social circles, families and in society.  We have definitions based on gender, skin color, economics etc…….seemingly innocuous definitions that are rooted in each one of us about ourselves, other people and the ‘values’ by which we operate.  Definitions can allow people to subjugate conscience (or even basic kindness)in many situations where actions or behavior would otherwise not be acceptable.  Again, we see this in spheres of the global and local, strangers and family, subtle and gross.
How does the ordinary and fundamental expressions of perception in society and social groups lay the ground for larger and more divisive ‘definitions’?  When does perception become social expression?
Definitions are powerful in the sense that they can determine the perceived essence of a person or group.  The perceived essence can then determine the ‘value’ or ‘worth’ we might assign to a person.  In this way, definition can utterly diminish or enhance the ‘essence’ of the person and can simultaneously limit or suppress the true essence of the person being defined.  Think of the implications and affect this has in your smaller social circles, family and society at large.  With definitions left unchecked (and how they feed our perceptions)……how does this influence our basic human relationships, interactions and dynamics??
All of this to keep suggesting that a simple practice of questioning can be an unexpected form of personal activism in this world where each of us, to some degree, preserves stigma, prejudices and divisions.  Every time I allow myself to perpetuate and act from perceptions without any questioning…….I potentially add to this pool of prejudice.  Some perceptions are benign……absolutely.  But what harm is there in taking a peek at the canopy of perceptions that compose you?  Why not get to know them and perhaps the origins of definitions that live within you?  Our perceptions unquestionably shape who we are and from there shape the world.  Aren’t you just a little curious?
Be well…..jacq

It is the function of art to renew our perception. What we are familiar with we cease to see. The writer shakes up the familiar scene, and, as if by magic, we see a new meaning in it.
~ Anais Nin

 

evolving' truths'

start small

Just one little thread. That’s all. Notice one small thread and just tug at it and see where it goes.

That is my love of metaphor speaking to the fabric of each of us. We are such an elaborate ‘weave’. So why not today…..or even right now…….take a few minutes. Let yourself think of a basic opinion you hold……nothing too emotionally ‘charged’. Once you think of it….simply get curious and perhaps start with the question ‘why?’. Let go of any passing of judgement or commentary/criticism. Just notice the thread of the opinion and follow it. See where the thread goes in the weave and perhaps what other threads or opinions it might be connected to. Is it integral to the integrity of the overall garment? Does it get lost in the intricacies of threadwork? When you get distracted just go back to the thread again and do this for a few minutes…..use your imagination as much as you need as that too is part of this weave(you).

That’s it…….just let it go. There doesn’t ‘need’ to be some grand revelation or insight. It is a practice of attention and focus……questioning and choosing. It feels like as a society we like having bigger pay outs for doing something……more reward. Try doing this for the satisfaction of small growth that might at first be imperceptible. If you can start with simple threads where there isn’t a lot of attached complexity you can learn this practice less encumbered. You can have more space to enjoy it and notice all you notice for the brief time you engage it. Over time you will find your own technique and ‘way’ with these more simple threads…..and you will have developed the muscle or skill for the more complex aspects of this ‘weave’ of you. Like any practice, the more you play with it the easier it becomes. Eventually the ‘effort’ becomes less, and almost like breathing, many threads will simply reveal themselves.

Okay……..what is your simple ‘thread’ this morning? I am going to follow my thread/opinion that I am a ‘good’ driver. Hmmm….ha ha……why not……

Enjoy!

evolving' truths'

and on it goes

I was talking with someone who was reflecting on her adult son and how she felt that he hadn’t lived up to his ‘potential’….and he was wasting his life and was ‘lazy’. Her thoughts didn’t seem mean-spirited and in fact she expressed a desire for him to be able to better take care of himself. I have found myself in a few conversations about the nature of living up to ones ‘potential’. Whew….talk about an amazingly subjective slippery slope. Many of these conversations have been one person reflecting on another person they care about and their frustration over their ‘wasted’ potential and all the ways they could stop wasting it. (and I am sure each of us is also familiar with how this same thinking can be put towards ourselves with thoughts/feelings of wasted potential).

It seems curious to me how when we care about someone and have a sense they are not living their ‘full potential’……. that we then choose to be frustrated with them? Why are we quick to ‘blame’ people for our own perceptions of their ‘wasted potential’….especially if it isn’t ‘hurting’ anyone else? It’s interesting that I don’t seem to hear people say, ‘that leaf falling from the tree is wasting its potential’ or ‘that wind is sure lazy’. But as humans here we go with our sharp minds to knock ourselves and others down when we perceive (even if it is based on intelligence tests or past achievements) they could ‘do better’ and live up to their ‘potential’.

It seems to me that energy without the subjective opinion we impose on it is simply …..’energy’. And I believe we ‘live up to our potential’ within the abilities of our personal environments. I thought of the example of a car. Let’s say you have a sporty car with a beefed up engine….one that has incredible power and speed potential. If someone placed a ‘governor’ on the accelerator pedal…..no matter how hard you tried, the ‘potential’ speed of that car will not be reached. When there are limitations or ‘governors’ placed on something or someone, they live within those limitations until or if those limitations might change. Another example would be water pressure in your house. The water pressure might have a certain potential but can be limited by the environment of the pipes, sediment, other systems functioning in the house etc……you get the idea?

We are like the car and the house in the sense that we are a unique system of ‘energy’ and design….and we are affected and ‘limited’ by our environment or certain ‘governors’ that have been put in place over time. Some we might be aware of and others not at all. The reasons for how we developed these limiters is unique and varied for each of us……but often they came into being for reasons that seemed good at the time. One possibility is that our systems of self protection or conditioning installed these ‘limiters’ as a safety device of sorts….which was probably helpful at the time.

So how do we come to know, understand and respect the limiters within our own design and conditioning? How do we invest in our awareness of these limiters and our choice to perhaps change them over time? How can our expanded personal awareness create more empathy for ourselves and other people? How can we shift the standard way of thinking to not ‘blame’ (or be frustrated etc) with those we ‘perceive’ as not living up to their ‘potential’? How can we be kind all the more as we realize how each of us has our unique set of limitations and is living exactly within our current ‘potential’? And how can we do this while still having our opinions and wanting ‘the best’ for someone and ourselves……realizing that all of this can co-exist with a little effort of gentle awareness?

All of these questions…….each of us with our unique response to it all. What is possible if we meet life…even things we accept as ‘that’s just the way it is’ or as ‘givens’…..with curiosity? Hmmmmm……..

I will leave you with one definition of ‘energy potential’:

The potential energy is a function of the state a system is in, and is defined relative to that for a particular state. This reference state is not always a real state, it may also be a limit. Any arbitrary reference state could be used, therefore it can be chosen based on convenience. Typically the potential energy of a system depends on the relative positions of its components only, so the reference state can also be expressed in terms of relative positions.

thanks for reading….Jacq.

evolving' truths'

simple exercise

Make a list of all the ‘titles’ you identify with.  For example: mother, daughter, employee, caretaker, friend, lover, teacher etc.

Then also list all the adjectives or descriptives you identify with: friendly, adventurous, smart, talented, stupid (include all sides of the coin), insensitive, funny, abrupt, intense, charismatic, musical, boring, talk to much, prompt, unreliable, stingy, generous etc etc.   You could make a very long list if you take the time.  Now right down anything else you feel like describes ‘you’ or identifies you.

Okay, look at the piece of paper with what I imagine has many words on it if you really sat with all the different arenas of your life and let it flow.  Now, one by one just let them go.  Yes, let go of every ‘title’, identifier or role that you either play willingly or is put upon you.  Just let it go.  See if you can get to a place of spaciousness where these aspects/qualities, and all that is attached to them, fade to the distance.

Now notice how you feel.  Notice if some were a little stickier than others for letting go. Notice which felt easier to let go of.  Notice which ones make you feel ‘better’ and which make you feel ‘lesser’.  Notice which ones help you feel ‘safe’.  Etc etc.  Just notice.

Then slowly and with attention let them each come back.  (They are never far away). Again, notice what you notice.

Practice this every week or couple weeks and see if you can not automatically identify with all of this.  See if you can strengthen the muscle of observation.  By observing and listing them, letting them go and inviting them back……all the while noticing the feelings and thoughts that are connected to it all……you develop a practice and skill of awareness and choice.  You interrupt the standard auto pilot and begin a practice of awareness and empowerment.  You also, over time, learn that not all of them need/want to ‘come back’ anymore.  Some might be ready to ‘retire’ if you give them a little break from being actively engaged.

Play with this and see what you notice….get curious and ask yourself questions……..oh, and have fun.  Why not?

enjoy………jacq

evolving' truths'

Cliff notes version of ‘Love > Fear’ parts 1-4

Why not try a mix of kindness and empathy instead of criticism and passing *judgement?  Why not see how it feels to both offer this but experience it from others?  Why not find out what gets in your way of offering this to yourself and others?

To clarify- *judgement as I am referring to it is not about the development of discernment for choice or opinion based on factual information.  I am speaking to the more often used quality of ‘passing judgement’  to criticize without prior knowledge or to jump to conclusions from opinions that tend to diminish a person or group.

general word definitions:

Criticism- 1.the act of passing judgment as to the merits of anything. 2. the act of passing severe judgement; censure; faultfinding

Kindness- the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

Empathy- the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

evolving' truths'

Love > Fear ~part1

Fear is one of the greatest mechanisms for control.

Since the beginning humans have felt awed and overwhelmed by the force of nature and the natural world.  I can only imagine the level of fear in experiencing the first thunder storm or other powerful acts of nature.  Before the mind and science had developed, it was all simply a mysterious phenomena to which we were without understanding or control.  It seems that having a sense of control offers us a sense of safety, even if it is false.  We learned that if we came up with explanations or stories for why things happened, we felt safer.  Perhaps that is why creation stories first emerged, religion and later the field of science.  The more we could measure and explain the safer we felt and the greater our sense of control.  The irony here is that we have been given these amazing minds that can actually ponder the nature of existence and formulate to no end.  We can think ourselves silly and honestly not ever arrive at an ‘answer’.  So, we needed to create ‘stories’ and find explanations to create a  manageable container.

In Al Gore’s book  the Assault on Reason he has a chapter on the Politics of Fear.  He is addressing fear in so much as it counteracts ‘reason’. I believe it is this mechanic of fear that disenfranchises us from the grounded and even more powerful space of authentic love, being and deep wonder.  He quotes Edmund Burke from pre Revolution times as saying “No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.” He continues to address the forefathers worries that when fear displaces reason, ‘the result is often irrational hatred and division’.  We have countless examples throughout history of this: Slavery, the genocide of Native indigenous people and the murder of folk medicine women of the NE in the late 1600’s…..and this only names a few atrocities.  It doesn’t mention examples of the subtle ways we treat one another on a day to day basis.

My continuous desire here is to peel back layers.  I have no answers, simply questions I ask of myself since I come from this human family tree and I’m part of this pay it forward legacy.  All of us are connected into the mindsets, collective conditioning, behaviors and belief systems of all that have come before us.  I cannot draw you the map to explain exactly how that might be true.  (but there are maps and equations within quantum physics, biology and spirituality that can connect the dots of this ‘truth’.) My knowing it is ‘true’ comes from allowing myself to disconnect from the systems put in place to actually ask questions and to see/feel things from many perspectives both in body and mind.  Sometimes I may arrive back into the familiar territory where I began but no doubt I am changed by the journey of the question.

All that I write are curiosities, ideas and opinions and none of them are static.   The depth of our existence and the infinite nature of the world is not definitive. Even as we try to make it such, there will always be a new thread or evolving layer to discover. All of this is simply a springboard and it is ever shifting as each of us is certainly ever shifting.