being human

Inside Out: Skills, Parts and Your Practice

In this episode we learn more about the Inner Landscape, our Parts and Authentic Self. We explore the framework and learn why and how to apply our skills (Awareness, Kindness and Curiosity) to develop our Inner Society with the dynamics of cohesion, connection and collaboration. All in service to you making chosen changes in how you think, feel and act.

being human

Our Connection to Well Being

In this episode, we reflect on our connection to ourselves and how this supports our sense of well being. We also explore how external ideas and narratives can influence us.

Podcast

Our Relationship to the Unconscious

This podcast explores the nature of the unconscious, how it interacts in our life and ways to shift our relationship to it. Developing our awareness and learning to interact with our unconscious is a game changer. For more insights and exercises check out the website SoundBodyWisdom.com.

being human

The Invitation

In this second podcast of the series I offer an invitation to explore our core resources. We each have these amazing super powers but we sometimes forget that they are there for us to access. In this podcast, I make the proposal for why each of us is more brilliant than we currently imagine.

being human

The Journey Begins

This is the first podcast in the series and it took the shape of an interview between myself and Sam Fisher. He asks questions about this practice and why I began developing and sharing it. This podcast will explore our being human and offer tools and insights through the Sound Body Wisdom practice. It’s a space of possibility expanded by science, mind-body practices and personal wisdom.

philosophy

Life is Art

Sitting with my tea, I was watching the movements of this mind…..playing the intermediary (or multiple advocate) for the unfolding of thoughts I was having. I was amused by the constant tweak in perception these contrasting advocate roles offered, how it could show me some new aspect to the thought beyond my attachments.

Then my thoughts shifted to photography. I have been reflecting on this passion of mine with more consideration lately as I realized that it is something that has never faded for me. That these ‘captured moments’ never fail to evoke or stimulate something within me.

And then I recognized that each moment in my life is like the experience of looking at a photograph. Each moment I am filling in the blanks, writing a story and unwinding a string of sensations. Each moment I am compelled by the images in front of me or the creations of my mind’s eye. With patience, commitment and awareness I learn about ‘myself’ through this exchange/practice.

In any given experience, each of us may view an event and walk away with very different interpretations.
We may, or may not, have similarities to what we perceive from the ‘same’ stimulus.

The art of life (or the life of art) is every day and the elaborate witness that is you and I brings such a particular nuance to the viewing. I hope that there will always be passionate exchange about our perceptions…..but I also hope that we don’t forget to honor one another along the way. And perhaps, along the way, open ourselves to the ever present ‘tweak’ that is accessible to us. Not as a form of abandoning our beliefs but as a practice of learning from the ‘divergent advocates’ available and within each of us.

philosophy

You are the Path

If you are someone that knows me…or perhaps reads any of these ponderings….you would likely know that I spend much of my time examining my thoughts/heart space, dismantling my sense of ‘self’ and attempting to see all of life from as many perspectives as possible (without my brain exploding).

I don’t practice any of this as a form of nihilism or self deprecation…..but as a path towards not being controlled by my attachments, to grow more deeply in open-hearted compassion and broader awareness.
I live with a fully intact personality and trove of opinions that can burst on the scene at any time, but they dwell side-by-side with this practice.

For me, the most important commitment is to love others and myself without any conditions or judgment. (Authentic love comes as the foundation and then after that are all the opinions and personality.)
Generally, it’s my own fears or smallness that gets in my way of this. I have found that the more I explore this ‘path of me’, the more available and free I am to love without constrictions.

Why would we ever withhold our love or think for one moment we are ‘better than’ or ‘not as good as’ someone else? And yet we are prolific at doing this very thing. Each day we experience divisive thoughts based on: social standing, education, economics, physical appearance, gender, evaluative comparisons……on and on.
So yes, my curiosity seems to continuously boomerang back to: Why not love our selves and others fully, without conditions? Why engage in the knee jerk human patent of judging one another? What gets in our way of creating a life that embraces that we are all fundamentally equal, yet diverse, without exception?

I am always finding new doorways to explore this practice and recently I have had a few ‘new’ doors present themselves. One of them has been this thing we call ‘death’ (and the never-ending maze of personal attachments we base on our perceptions of living.)
I have had the honor of spending time with a good friend as he goes through the transition from this physical world: to converse openly and with our mystified soft hearts about this life, the transition of energy and perceptions.

He was amazed to witness for himself the gradual shift in how day-to-day moments could feel so different, the challenge of having his once strong physical body not be ‘his own’ anymore, the journey to let go of copious attachments and the ability to see from new spaces in his heart/soul/energy. This time with him has afforded me new opportunities to examine a few more standard foundations that affect my every day thoughts. More specifically, our linear relationship to living, aging and apprehension/denial of our own mortality.
It has offered new prisms through which I gain insight and follow my curiosity in this laboratory of me.

Along with this, I have started getting to know a person that lives within the local transient/homeless community. Having conversations about what has changed for her since becoming ‘homeless’, the tangible shift in how people treat her and my own sense of ‘us/them’ while being invited into their circles……..

Both of these experiences in different ways have been potent in demonstrating the lines we draw and perceptions we cling to sometimes. The need to feel safe or comfortable even if that means choosing to shy away from examining these defining judgments, the status quo script or beliefs about self and other whether due to life circumstances or our own mortality.

I find myself surrendering more and more to how little is ‘certain’ in our lives (even with these days and routines that might unfold as expected or planned). We all know there are ‘no guarantees’ in this life and yet we invest a lot of time and energy towards trying to control and bend this ‘truth’ as much as we can. This can potentially look many different ways: the eye cream we dab on to ‘prevent’ aging, the gossip we speak about other individuals, the material objects we surround ourselves with, the inner voices that declare we are somehow not ‘good enough’ or the small untruth we tell in any given moment….
We have so many movements of the mind enabling us to sidestep this possibility of the unknown and all that we cannot control or predict in this life. So many inflexible or stylized thoughts we use to maintain our position on the map of living …..to somehow offer a guarantee of where we place in the scheme of things. No matter whether they are subtle or strongly apparent….we are running these scripts daily.

It seems that we don’t often greet the uncertainty of living (which can feel threatening) with open arms. Instead, we often try to manipulate or distract from it. We become frightened by the unknown open space of questioning and feel vulnerable to the varied ‘truths’ in each moment. There is much more comfort and safety in trying to control ‘reality’ and shape it into the existing (inherited) images that we already have of the world and ourselves. This might create temporary relief from the uncertainty that is inherent in being human……but ultimately it is just a tool we all use to create more comfort and accommodations.

(and just to be clear…..I participate in forms of daily control and distraction and can thoroughly enjoy the time I spend there…..but for me it is about finding a balance and an awareness of what I am choosing and why. I have no hard and fast lines or judgments about any of this…..just curiosities)

It seems that if we seldom participate in a practice of examination and questioning, we come to believe we (or others) are whatever arises in our conditioned minds. We have gotten so used to looking outside ourselves for ‘answers’ that we have forgotten to be curious about who it is that’s doing the looking.
If we are willing to investigate the spaces in between our thoughts we might discover a relationship to uncertainty that begins to feel more comfortable. We might fully witness the vast energy we exert to conform our lives to an ‘acceptable’ version of the image we desire….. and then choose to utilize that energy in different ways.

Yes, we have such incredibly intricate and compulsive responses in the mind……. but it is within this complex web that we can find a vast and rich resource. We don’t seem to realize that the raw and layered material of ‘us’ is the path. You can learn from any teacher or teachings……but I feel that to truly find wisdom and compassion…….you must discover yourself. Because you are the ‘truth’ and no one else can take you there except for you.
Yes, all these teachers/teachings have left us road maps but ultimately you must travel that road yourself and ask questions along the way. Each person’s path is unique and at times you will need to improvise, but it is a mystery only you can discover.

It reminds me of a story about a student and a Zen master. The student approached the Zen master saying ‘I have come to learn THE path’. The Zen teacher sat for a moment and replied with loving emphasis, ‘You are the path’.

When we begin to recognize that so much of how we experience life is a reflection of the mind, then each experience becomes an opportunity to discover our dance with this process; The actions, opinions, and thinking that we use to shape our sense of safe reality, the attachment we have to ‘knowing’/control and the lack of compassion / kindness in relation to self and other when immersed in these attachments.

Each moment we get to choose what version of theater we would like to engage and if we want to perhaps take a peek backstage. Understanding with greater depth what lies behind curtains can offer a broader experience of the magic. We never arrive at a final act or answer but we get to continuously be present in the open space of uncertainty with a welcoming breath.

>>>

I have no new sharing of tools as I close from these ponderings. My practices are ones I have previously offered that I find help me to cultivate awareness and humility…….

After I click ‘publish’ I will continue to sift through depths where my conditioned mind and personal perceptions make for entertaining theatre. The theatre that is me, you and the world around us. The subjectivity of it all……….
the influences….choices……..
I sometimes feel like a puppy trying to catch its own tail. Circle upon circle and eventually I sit down, take a breath and continue my spiral dance later with new vigor and delight. All these words and they don’t ever seem to come close ….to this journey of living.

Take care and thanks for connecting…….

being human

beyond personality

I was recently talking with a friend about the challenges that can arise in seeing all people as equal (yet different). We were actually discussing a basic Buddhist perspective that everyone is ‘the Buddha’ or has Buddha nature. For me, regardless of the ‘spiritual’ teaching or text…..essential equality is a simple truth. In my authentic core I can find no reason for this to be ‘untrue’.

But it doesn’t mean it’s easy to practice…..

I was remembering a few years ago when I was on tour in the SE. I had gone out for my morning walk and was pondering the difficulty I was experiencing with ‘living’ this simple truth on a daily basis. I questioned more deeply and asked myself what it was that got in ‘my way’ of being able to see each and every person without exception as equal; no one person intrinsically greater than or lesser than another.

The general reply I found was ‘personality’.

I would get stuck around people’s personalities and my ensuing preferences and opinions about them. Basically, nuances in my personality juxtaposed with theirs.
Over the years, I had developed the ability to find space in my attachment to my own personality but there would still be those exceptions, those individuals where it would get sticky for me.
With the exception of becoming a hermit, I wanted to create a tool or practice to help me dissolve this stickiness.

As I continued to walk, I noticed I was in this lush garden district filled with such incredible variety of flowers and trees. I saw particular types of flowers and trees that I thought ‘I love those, they are my favorite’….etc.
And as I noticed my personality and preference expressing itself for these ‘personalities’ in nature, I wondered if I could see all of this plant variety around me as ‘equal’ and individually (and collectively) beautiful. And believe me, there are some plants that I could easily not see as ‘equal’ to others. So, on that morning walk I began to ‘practice’ with the plants…..and I practiced every day.

After a little time I was able to let go of the stickiness of comparison/judgement and just accept each plant I encountered with equal appreciation. (I still have my opinions or preferences but I have created space to choose my perspective moment to moment….stickiness is not the ‘default’)
With my new tool and lots of enthusisam I thought ‘I am ready to now apply what I have learned to people!’
Needless to say, it didn’t work the same with humans as plants. There was still so much attachment and ego fluctuation in relation to certain people and interactions.

So I pondered some more…..wondering if there was a middle step….a place where personality would be less potent….?
And I thought about newborn babies; the way they can feel less ‘sticky’ for me. (They certainly have personality, but seem to be less ‘filled’ with it.)

So I decided to try something else.
Any time I found it difficult to see someone as ‘equal to’ (and without comparison to) others…..I would imagine them when they were first born. As soon as I did this, everything just came into balance and the attachments/judgements evaporated. It was like a love bomb went off and there was no need for the comparisons of greater than/lesser than. It was a simple space of ‘being’….neutral witnessing.

By using this tool I found a way to work with these ‘sticky personality’ moments and find a reprieve from my conditioned mind. I was able to create more space and compassion, not only for the complexities of the personalities of others……but for myself too.

Ahhh yes, a lifetime of study and practice…..

being human

‘but why’…..

Why do I write?
I think it is a process of refinement and discernment through words and energy. Perhaps it is a way of pulling threads and coalescing as I go. I am not sure exactly…but a process.
And I witness so much as I go…..
Observe…..
So much curiosity all entwined in this being human.

I generally remind myself of a 2 yr old constantly and perpetually asking…. “but why?”….
This is the question that follows most moments and thoughts throughout my days. I might see an ad on television, overhear a ‘gossip’ heavy conversation, witness a perceived imbalance in exchange or dynamic between people or groups, interpret a certain suffering ……and as I begin to flex opinions and judgements…this question ‘interrupts’ it all.
“But why?”…..

It is amazing how this practice supports my not getting swept away in judgements and criticisms. Because asking ‘why’ says ‘I don’t know’. It humbles me immediately; creates space for other possibility. And it is a questioning that simultaneously asks me to let go of any attachment or desire for finding an ‘answer’…..because this asking has no focus or goal for an ‘answer’ per se.

The questioning allows a multitude of responses/possibilities to emerge so that my single snap judgement or conditioned opinions have some company; all standing shoulder to shoulder.
My asking ‘why’ becomes a practice of looking in between the cracks of this constructed ‘human’ world we have; our derogative stereotypes, social dynamics, judgements, insecurities, systems of greater than/lesser than,’suffering’……(and so much more)….
To witness the spaces between and all around the concepts and habits…

The ‘why’ is a softening into these complexities….with compassion and curiosity.

And perhaps….
just perhaps…..what if these inherited and potentially unquestioned perspectives of self, life and other were to underlie so much of the imbalance that fuels this sense of ‘suffering’ in the world? Would you change anything? Would you ask ‘…but why…’?

being human

A song

Do you have one of those songs…?
….. one that can just create a sense of wide open space or ‘peace’ within you?

It’s as if everything falls away and this sense of calm and respite fills you. It’s almost like nostalgia but without the ‘ache’ because you feel content…home.

{Nostalgia- a wistful desire to return in thought or fact to a former time in one’s life, to one’s own home or homeland; A sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place and time. From Greek: n`ost (os) a return home}

My song today is Alexi Murdoch’s Orange Sky. For me, it’s a spacious landscape within which I can find nourishment and an expanded sense of peace.

Thought falls away

In my cells I can effortlessly feel everything connected. There is no above or below, greater than/lesser than…..
All connected, all in floating balance, all breath…..
A vibrant feeling of contentment, not desiring more or less….

I think many of us have these songs, these moments….
So of course I imagine what it would be like if each of us could live in that experience for a few minutes simultaneously. What would it be like for each of us to have that feeling of peace all at once?

And I wonder to what degree that sense of ‘home’ or that yearning for it (’nostalgia’) might vary or be the same for each of us wherever we live? What is this feeling as humans for a return to ‘home’; a yearning for another time where we felt a perceived sense of contentment? (And are there ever times we know that it lives inside of us and not in some other time or place.) Is this a universal experience?

What a curious phenomenon….nostalgia…..being human….

I have witnessed my own relationship to ‘nostalgia’ and ‘home’ unwind/shift over the years so that when the song ends….the feeling doesn’t disappear (because the song didn’t ‘create’ it). The minutes of the song serve like a small ‘retreat’ time to recharge, recount and remember. It reminds me that whatever I feel in those minutes dwells within me; that every breath is my ‘home’. And that the practice is to live each present moment with an authentic sense of contentment……every moment a balance of the blessing and challenge…….every moment a ‘song’.

And so I smile and push ‘repeat’……..

being human

communication as spiritual practice

A friend recently commented on my communications skills as seeming very ‘strong’ and my reply was that it felt like a spiritual practice to me. I sat with this and began to follow a thread of what that meant to me and what brought me there.

I realized so clearly that starting back around 2000/2001 I had reached a point where it felt like my life ‘depended’ upon me learning to communicate with all my parts…..all aspects of myself. Developing this communication was all I felt like I could do to survive so I set out to learn about all the layers of me and have a relationship with them.

In this act of ‘survival’, I committed myself to it wholly. Along the way I discovered I needed to dismantle so much of the concepts and beliefs I had been taught/learned in my life about relationship to self (and relationships in general). A daunting realization at the time considering how established our perspectives and thoughts have become even by early ages. It sorta felt like trying to climb Mt. Everest, blind and with no gear.
I basically needed to ‘tear down’ so much of what I thought I knew and was using as my compass in life. I discovered I needed to build something new from ‘scratch’ based on listening to my personal map, needs, soul, parts and my heart. I needed to authentically find what was essential to me from the inside.
Over time….. with dedication, work, trust, trial & error and the type of unconditional Love you might see in a parent for their child, I felt a shift within me begin.
Slow….
Slow….
Little by little….
Without attachment or agenda…………
I set upon the path of intentional listening, loving and communication with myself. The only guide was a sense of deep unconditioned Love and alliance with all parts/aspects of me and the truth that we all embody human and divine simultaneously without exception.
And since I had reached such a low point of struggle and felt I had nothing ‘to lose’ by trying such a radical approach……..I could really jump into the ‘not knowing’. (Like I said …..Mt Everest blind) It was scary at times ….but I so quickly began to get these tiny glimpses inside myself. They became like beacons helping me when I felt so lost and afraid without my familiar thoughts/behaviors to fall back on. Even when I didn’t understand any of it I began to trust more and more…….. and then slowly the ‘not knowing’ became the gift of possibility.
The place from which I could get out from under the personal ‘bullying’ and re-write the map of me.

These days when I speak with people about practices of self awareness, communication and loving yourself fully I often hear things like ‘it sounds too hard’, that’s too much work’ or ‘it’s impossible’.  And I truly understand this response.
10 yrs ago I might have said the same thing…..I don’t know.
And I think this might feel true with anything that is not habitual, the ‘norm’ or even familiar…..or any form of ‘un-learning’.

And yes, it took work, it was hard at times and I was never sure it was ‘possible’.

But I felt that way with surfing, a certain handful of performance pieces over the years, traveling solo to West Africa and countless other things throughout my life. Maybe I felt that way when I set out to climb my first tree or ride my bike……I don’t remember. But I do know it took work to learn these things and now they are an integrated part of me.
And it is the same with loving yourself, learning new perspectives, new tools and re-mapping within yourself.
You practice…… and suddenly you are on that top branch or down the block with a sense of incredible freedom.

Thanks for reading…..
blessings
jacq

being human

equality

The act of putting someone (anyone) on a pedestal, elevating them above yourself or others, disregards the essence of ‘being love’. Anytime we do this we maintain the system of ‘greater than/lesser than’ in which there must be some who are above and others who are below. And how do we decide who is above and below in this social policy that is reminiscent of the caste system? Are we not continuously positioning ourselves on this scale through our actions, thoughts and perceptions? Do we not subscribe to it when we say something as benign as “I know I should just be happy because there are people worse off than me….” We comfort ourselves by reminding ourselves we are not at the bottom. We ‘mean well’ but it still feeds this system and allows it to continue.
But who does it serve?
The truth is we are all equal in essence and yet unique. We are all equal and also have our own challenges and our own strengths.
What would it take to behold your own radiance simply for breathing….no exceptions.

When you cultivate a space for authentically dwelling here….in the reality of your beingradiance whether or not you have moments of ‘falling short’ or rising up……you have found your own personal expression of ‘enlightenment’. A space without praise or criticism, judgement through comparison or greater than lesser than mentality. If you can embrace this space then all paths for honoring others as unique and equal are free from attachments, limiting stories or comparisons.
Who has defined enlightenment and doesn’t its potential and unfolding exist in each of us? Expanding and contracting from within……not a carrot dangling outside of us we are trying to grasp.

We have been taught from birth to be ‘better than’…… to compare, judge and certainly not believe that we are all equal.

I remember speaking with someone and sharing that I don’t believe that anyone is better than another and they had an example to offer. They said ‘what about a brain surgeon and an unemployed alcoholic that watches TV all day?’ My reply is still the same……it is not conditional. If we start making subjective exceptions I think it becomes a fast slippery slope as far as who gets to decide the ‘greaters’ and the ‘lessers’. And depending on the judges….each of us at one time or other might end up on a less favored ‘end’. We get to have our opinions and ideas but it all changes when we try to make our opinions right. Why would we be so attached to being ‘right’ when it comes to this?

I certainly don’t have all the answers and I don’t believe there are ‘answers’ for everything. But I believe we are all equal and yet different and it is from this place that I can love not only myself unconditionally…. but every single person. Sometimes it takes effort to remind myself but I arrive there none the less.

Try saying this statement out loud…….
‘everyone is truly equal, no one person is better than another’.
Sit with it and take it in……
How does it feel?
What thoughts and feelings arise?

All each of us can do is notice what arises. Notice what you are attached to as right and how you feel about it. Be a loving witness to this ever unfolding of you.