Does the change you desire for yourself come from comparing yourself to things externally or does it comes from your own intuition or inner sense of constriction/limitation?
So often we look at the world around us and through a process of judging, comparing and critiquing we create a list of ‘shoulds’ that become our guide towards personal growth. The challenge of this, I have found, is that it becomes more of an imbalanced ego based directive that is rooted in this system of ‘greater than/lesser than’.
It is tricky to write about because there is such subtlety in all of this and no ‘black or white’ definitives……..
We certainly want to strive to grow and sometimes it is an external ‘reminder’ that can help us. But I am talking about the process of seeing someone/something outside of ourselves and then feeling a sense of ‘lacking’ based on comparison and judgement completely entrenched in a sense of ‘greater than/lesser than’….completely based on reaching for something outside of us. We then push and pull and critique ourselves toward trying to look or be this perceived better way.
The missing piece quite often in this process is personal reflection that allows you to ask what these certain qualities or outcomes mean to you. How might this ‘change’ serve you and how does it inspire you?
It’s possible to see the external stimulus and take it inside of yourself, allowing your own authentic intuition to be your guide…..not starting from a sense of ‘lacking’ or ‘less than’ but of curiosity. To have a personal barometer for your own needs toward the growth that will most supprt you.
Each of us is completely unique, not just in fingerprints and DNA, but our personal journey and map of who we are and what is essential for our livelihood. We might find similarities and affinities with others….of course….but ultimately we are beautifully unique and each of us needs to take responsibility to get to know ourselves and ‘tweak’ our personal journey as we go.
Much in the same way that a medicine someone is taking at a particular moment might not be a medicine I need to take in that same moment (in fact, I could possibly get sick if I do) we must remember to listen to our own needs and experiences.
For me it starts with being an ally to all my parts. A place of unconditional love and not self deprecation and criticism. A place of feeling whole already and yet open to growth, increased wellness and evolution.
Feeling inspired to grow and cultivate parts of yourself is beautiful work. To do this ‘work’ authentically I think it is essential to discover where your motivation is coming from. Too often our endeavors for ‘personal growth’ become set ups for perceived failure or unhealthy comparisons of merit. This seems to create an idea that ‘personal growth’ is not really possible or that it’s something we are perpetually ‘chasing’. I often hear people joke about the possibility of ever reaching enlightenment, as if it is a lofty goal only certain ‘elite’ reach. The truth is we all have it within us already…..it is only our perception of where it is, what it is and who we are that can limit our connection to it.
All this ‘personal growth’ is already within us. We need to do the simple and yet complicated practice of being curious to know ourselves because even the best tools can fall short without personal knowledge. All practices and tools involve you walking the path and doing the work of you. Nobody can do it but you.
I was watching a movie where a character said “You need to choose your thoughts the same way you choose your clothes”. I thought this was a great reminder to how simple it can be….with practice. Getting to know our thoughts and discerning….choosing……this is the art and practice of being human. The choosing of our thoughts completely shifts the playing field to one of empowerment and personal reflection…..not just being pushed and shoved by models of ‘lesser than/greater than’. We get to choose these thoughts that in turn affect how we feel and how we choose our actions toward ‘personal growth’.
You have all the tools you need within you….there is nothing to obtain that is outside of you.
Why not cultivate them……..
Reach within and discover.
Be open to the surprise and the challenge.
Unplug from so much that you have been taught when it comes to the journey of personal growth and begin to know what medicine you need right now and what might be limiting you.
Only you can discover it.
Why not dive into the ocean of you…..is there anything more precious and amazing?
Thanks for reading.